Five Tips For Successful Virtual Learning All Teachers Wish You Knew
Jaime Mazza from The Unlikely Guru
“If my morning meeting Zoom is bad then I know I’ll have a bad day. Sorry Mama.”
This was the explanation Jace provided for throwing an eraser at me earlier in the day. He and I had a tough day. It was just before bedtime and we’d just finished a chapter in Ramona Quimby, Age 8. It was the one where Ramona comes to grips with her own needs as a patient with the stomach flu and a student in the 3rd grade. And I’d like to think that Ramona’s willingness to explore her emotions allowed Jace to do the same.
“I miss the old school. I miss my friends. Breakout rooms aren’t the same as playing football with CJ on the playground. I feel like my teacher never notices me.”
Yup that sounds about right. I set myself up for an emo evening with Jace after my emo afternoon. Since school began in late August, most days, I am loose and flexible. Typically I am absorbent like a sponge. Some days I allow their frustrations to slowly seep into me without any real effect on my demeanor. Other days, I absorb their energy and feel full but go for a walk alone until I lighten up.
Today I could do neither. I couldn’t absorb their frustration and couldn’t deflect it either. I was more easily riled, less patient and more reactive. None of the adjectives, I aspire to in my role as virtual learning facilitator! This contributed to the thrown eraser.
There is such a fine line between helping your child access the online curriculum and controlling it. What I’m realizing is less just might be more.
I know this is a crazy way to learn and that the conditions are less than optimal. I also know that my energy can really color my kids’ opinions on how things are going. This is not to say I need to be positive all the time and pretend that life is peachy. Because it’s not. However, I can’t let my old expectations stomp all over the positive way that teachers, parents and kids are truly making the best of a really tough situation.
Clearly I can’t speak for all, I believe that most teachers are doing their best. In a time when the world seems completely turned upside down, I am proud to be in a field where the professionals are doing their best and striving to make it work at all costs. I listen to my kids’ teachers and my husband (a middle school teacher) on Zoom meetings, and I am impressed daily by the level of respect and kindness in their voices. Teachers by and large are extraordinary people and teaching is an extraordinary profession.
The kids are doing their best too. They are getting on meetings when they should, learning new technology, engaging in strained breakout room conversations, showing up and staying positive despite the fact that their world is nothing like it used to be.
And yet it’s easy to lose sight. This goes back to the expectations and resistance I spoke of in my Resistance and Expectations posts. I’ll link both just in case you need to catch up! I’m resisting the old way but need to lean into my current reality. Once I lean in, I remember all the little things I can be grateful for rather than all the things that disappoint me. Plus when I lean in, I notice the small ways I can help things stay in flow.
Despite the ebbs and flows, there are at least 5 things that if done are guaranteed to help the day go smoothly in our house.
I say smoothly only on those days when I am present enough to remember to do them. And trust me this is not everyday! What I am constantly telling myself is that I WILL forget sometimes and that’s OK.
It’s a work in progress, friends. One day at a time!
For better or worse, on with my tips.
- MOVE
These kids have to move during breaks. My kids hop off their zoom meetings for lunch and recess and want to go on their Ipads or play video games. Mother’s guilt says if that makes them happy then what’s the harm. Mother’s intuition says absolutely not. You’re going to be swinging from the rafters by 1:00. Intuition never lies. Lunch/recess has to be a time for moving not sitting and watching another screen.
2. GET QUIET TIME
The incessant drone of Zoom meetings and those tinny virtual voices can get the best of me. I need some quiet time. I try to meditate in the morning before the day begins and also have a chair set up outside to walk away from the madness if I need to. Whether you are taking leave from a full time job or are a stay at home mom, few of us are used to being around our kids 24 7. It’s taxing and you must get some uninterrupted alone time in.
3. TALK
Our kids don’t need us to reteach them the lessons that their teachers already taught. But they do need us. They need conversation. They need us to be present when talking to them and really listen to what they have to say. This means when you are engaging with them, don’t multitask. Listen I am the queen of the reformed multitasker. You know the drill- start dinner while sending a quick email while sending an even quicker text while listening to music! I am really working hard at choosing certain times of the day when I truly relinquish that old habit of multitasking in favor of just being. It seems to lessen their frustration when I focus and listen to what they are saying. And in doing so I provide an example for my them to do the same thing with others.
4. REST
Typically this time of year, I am working full time as an early intervention speech-language pathologist. When our school district decided to go virtual for the start of the school year, I made the decision to take leave using the Family First Coronavirus Response Act. I did, however, work virtually the first six months of the pandemic. The most surprisingly difficult thing about working virtually with preschoolers all those months was the fatigue. I was shocked at how exhausting it is to sit on a computer and talk to kids all day long. It’s like running a marathon! That fatigue is continuing. The kids are exhausted. I’m exhausted. When you’re exhausted, you know the best thing to do? Just REST! Loosen up those expectations, call a movie night midweek or have PBJ sandwiches for dinner. Do whatever it takes to listen to your body when it’s telling you to take a break.
5. RELAX
All kids learn differently, present differently and grow differently. It’s hard to overhear other students in the background during these Zoom meetings. Typically we’re not privy to what happens behind the scenes at school. Our kids start school in September one way, their amazing teachers mold, shape, educate and love them and we see the beautiful finished product in June. Now we are passive participants in that growth. For the control freaks among us, we might be concerned with how our kids are measuring up. We might be concerned about how our kids are learning. The thing I learned about this is it’s none of my business right now how my kids are progressing. Leave that up to the teachers. That’s their job and unless you are contacted, remain in that state of blissful ignorance. Pick up a new hobby or read a new book (message me if you’re looking for a new one- I have so many good recommendations! ). Final words, go have a cup of tea outside, relax and trust in the process!
-Jaime
